Stupid knight in shining armor!
by canukepasecret
Summary: one-shot. Dramione. Excerpt: "Thank you Malfoy this means a lot." "You are welcome Weasley." He said walking away. "Looks like you found yourself a knight in shining armor. Literally." Ginny said giggling. Hermione finds herself in a hilarious situation and she just doesn't know what to do. R&R


The Malfoy manor was exactly how it was the last time I visited well excluding the sound of a hyena laughing. While I was appreciating its beauty, which I wasn't able to do it last time, No thanks to the retarded hyena, someone crept up behind me totally ignoring the personal space concept.

When I turned around, I met with a bright white person. I had to blink to get used to the sight. It was Malfoy. His grayish eye, pale white skin and why on earth was he wearing white shirt and white pants? Was he trying to blind everyone?

"Hello princess." he said smirking.

"Hello commoner." I said frowning.

Before he could answer there was a pop.

"Master?"

"Yes Dinky?" he said turning towards the elf.

"The dinner is ready, when do you want it served? Dinky had also prepared master's favorite chocolate mousse."

"Why master? Never thought you for one to have a sweet tooth." I thought raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry miss, but master Malfoy is Dinky's master, Dinky doesn't not like other elves to know masters favorite dish." it said looking at me.

"What did you just call me?" I was about launch myself on that big-eyed monstrosity when someone held me by my waist.

"Now now princess, we wouldn't want all that spew you had been spewing during the school years to go down the drain." he said smirking.

" . !" I said gritting my teeth and glaring at him.

He let me go and I turned around to see that Dinky had already left. I looked at Malfoy only to cover my eyes again.

"Just go and change into something else."

"What is wrong with what I'm wearing?" he asked confused.

"Are you promoting virgins or something?"

"Excuse me?" he said looking even more confused.

"Well white is for purity, virgins are pure and you are all white. It's blinding me."

"You don't like virgins" he said seriously.

"What? Of course I believe that one should always wait for the right time to lose it."

"Lose it? Why would anyone ever want to lose something so precious? "He asked appalled.

"You surely can not want anyone to stay virgin forever" I said.

"Of course I want virgins to stay forever. My company is going to invest a lot in them" he said angrily.

"What! You cannot invest on something like that. You can't change the lifestyle of people just because you are investing in it."

"Of course I can. Everyone will like it. Who doesn't like it? Not only is it healthy, it also makes everything tastier." he said looking like I was mental.

"Healthy? Tasty? What are you on? Drugs?"

"Why yes. I believe extra virgin olive oil is very good invention of the muggles. I can appreciate something when it is good. Muggle or not." he said as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Olive oil? Of course they are the best" I said forcing a smile.

"I knew if anyone could ever understand this it would be you." he said sheepishly.

Of course he was talking about 'extra virgin olive oil' stupid me, like I was supposed to dream about it that Malfoy of all the people was interested in Muggle oil that apparently every Muggle is going crazy about. How the hell did I manage to put myself in this situation again? Oh right Ginny was to be blamed. What was it that she said? "Knight in shining armor"

_Ginny and I were running from 'the king of retard' a.k.a Viktor Krum the Durmstrang moron. He somehow got himself convinced that he and I are made for each other and we are soul mates. Ginny and I were in my apartment drinking hot chocolate when someone apparated into my home with a bunch of singing flowers that said I was a flower and should be married to non other than the king lunatics himself._

_That is how Ginny and I ended in an alley discussing my wonderful life._

"_You need to go hide somewhere safe where he will never find you." Ginny said._

"_Like where? Azkaban? That is the only place he would never try looking for me."_

"_Or you could just stay in the Malfoy manor for few days."_

"_Yeah right! What?" I asked looking at Ginny as if she had lost it. _

"_What did you just say?" she asked me looking like I grew a new pair of head._

"_You said something about the manor."_

"_What I dint say that you did."_

"_No idiot I said" there was that voice again._

"_Who did?" Ginny and I said in unison as we were searching for the source of the voice. There was no one in the alley._

"_I did." Said the voice again._

"_Where are you?"I said pointing my wand out in the air._

"_Right behind you Granger"_

_I looked behind to find no one. The alley was empty. Well empty except for Ginny, a shiny little armor and me._

"_Where?" I asked again._

"_Here" Said the armor moving._

"_Ginny please tell me you see that."_

"_Not sure I want to."_

"_You can come and stay with me for a while. It's the least I can do for you after your testimony saved me from going to Azkaban."_

"_I saved you?" I asked not knowing what to stay._

"_Why yes. So how about the offer?"_

"_To stay with you? Where? In a tin box?" I said. Either I am dreaming or the world has gone insane._

"_Of course not. Like I said in the Malfoy Manor."_

_That is when I realized it was Malfoy. Draco fucking Malfoy._

"_Malfoy? Is it you?"_

"_Of course it is me silly. Who else do you think?"He asked, as I was dumb enough to ask him that question._

"_Well I am sorry I did not recognize you under all the shiny costume." I said._

"_It's alright even the brightest which of our age has the right to get dumb sometimes." And that is what I get for being sarcastic to stupid people._

"_Why are you dressed like a tin man?"_

"_Tin man? I am a knight! Moreover, I am currently hiding from Pansy. She was annoying me so I dressed in this so that she won't recognize me." he said proudly._

"_Walking down the road dressing like that, is your idea of hiding from someone?" I asked with my mouth open. Sure, this is a dream._

"_Yes it is. Don't you think its genius?" he asked proud of himself._

"_Yes brilliant."Ginny said finally._

"_I can't wait to tell mother about this. She would be happy that I stunned the brightest witch,"_

"_Yes I am sure. Nevertheless, what were you talking about 'Mione staying in the manor."_

"_Oh right! I take it she wants to hide from someone. She can stay at the manor for as long as she wants. I will make sure that everything is ready for her when she arrives."_

"_What? I – uh – stay – you – tin – what?" I wasn't able to say anything this was all madness._

"_Thank you Malfoy this means a lot."_

"_You are welcome Weasley." He said walking away._

"_Looks like you found yourself a knight in shining armor. Literally." Ginny said giggling._

"Oh so you are the girl Draco was talking about. He never brings his girlfriends home you see." Narcissa Malfoy said bringing me out of the memory.

"What? No – " I tried correcting her

"I don't blame him. He is a sweet little boy." Pinching Draco's cheeks as if he was a 6-year-old boy.

"No actually I am – "

"It's alright dear; he is an adorable boy to fall for. Listens to everything I say."

"Yes I can see that."

"Draco my boy what are you thinking?" she asked looking at 'her boy' adoringly who was looking at me intently.

I just raised my eyebrow.

"Tsk tsk lady. You cannot do that. That is not how a future Malfoy should behave. Lower you brows." Narcissa said to me.

I just ignored her future reference but lowered my brows to ask Malfoy.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked looking at him.

"What? You want money from my boy?" she said angrily.

"What no! It is just an idiom"

"Idiot! Did you just call me an idiot?" how dare you?"

"Mrs. Malfoy you are just barking at the wrong tree."

"What now I am a dog. Listen here young lady I'm your future mother in law, you cannot talk to me like that."

"It's good to see you two are getting along. I will just change and come back." Malfoy said smiling.

"What?" both of us asked him together.

"Oh mother Hermione doesn't like this shirt."

Oh so its Hermione now? Since when?

"What is wrong with the shirt? That is what I took out for you to wear in the morning."

"You select his clothes for him to wear?" I asked her baffled

"Why yes I do. Draco is a good boy, listens to everything I say."

"Yes it seems so. From being a daddy's boys to a mamma's boy is what one would expect from him."

"Why of course after it's about respect and manners." She looked at me disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry – "I was about to tell her to shove it but she dint let me finish it.

"It's alright, you don't have be sorry. Now listen here Draco already has a wonderful women in his life."

"And that would be you?"

"Yes "she said proudly.

"Well then it's a good thing" I said relieved that she will not annoy me again with her assumption of being his girl friend.

"So it is settled that he will always listen to me even after you become his wife."

"What – "

"What are you both talking about?" Malfoy came back wearing black shirt and a black pant.

What is with him and matching his shirt and pants?

"Oh nothing dear. Your girlfriend here was just agreeing with me that even after your marriage you will wear clothes I choose."

"What? No I –?"

"You mean to say that you will take my only son away from me?" Narcissa shouted angrily.

This is just madness.

"Malfoy can I talk you?" I asked looking at him.

"Well out with it! Talk all you want." Narcissa said angrily.

"Alone." I said to Malfoy through gritted teeth.

"Mother – "

"What so now you choose her? Of course you do." She shouted before storming out of the room.

"You will not take me away from her will you?" Malfoy asked me.

"Of course not – "

"I can wear the clothes she chooses for me right?"

"Well of course you can."

"Well then mother will be very happy." He said clapping his hand jumping in the air.

"I will go and tell her that."

"Wait Malfoy we need to talk about this girlfriend thing." He left before I completed the sentence.

Did I wake up in an alternate dimension or something?

* * *

I was sitting on the dining table eating all the delicious food prepared by the house elves. I was a little angry at first that the elves were working but when Dinky popped and glared at me I just let it pass. Narcissa looked angry and Malfoy looked like he was just about to open his Christmas gift.

"Mother, Hermione agrees with my virgin concept."

I almost choked on the wine that I was sipping.

"Well of course she does what did you expect."

Before anyone can answer, Dinky popped back.

"Master there is a Mr. Krum waiting for you in the hall."

"Who is Krum?" Narcissa asked Malfoy.

"Just a friend mother, he went to Durmstrang. He is a few year older than Hermione and I"

"Dinky why don't you bring him here and arrange for another plate?" he said to Dinky.

"No!" before I could protest, Dinky popped out and popped back with the king retard.

"Hermime!" he exclaimed looking at me and getting my name wrong again. So much for being soul mates.

"Who are you handsome?" Narcissa said batting her eyelashes.

"Thank you miss. I am Viktor Krum" victor said kissing her hand and giving her a charming smile.

"So why did I get such a pleasant surprise?" Malfoy asked smiling.

"Oh! No. I come here to meet Herminnie"

"Herminnie?"

"Yes Hermime."

"Hermime? But you just said Herminnie."

"No no I come to meet her." Viktor said pointing in my direction.

"Oh you mean Hermione?"

"Yes I mean Hermionny."

"No no it's Her – "

"Okay stop before you both just kill my name."

"You know her?" Narcissa asked Viktor.

"Yes miss. She my fiancée."

"What? She is your fiancée? Did you listen to that Draco, your girl friend is cheating on you?"

"Excuse me – "I was cut again.

"You his girl friend Hermime? But you are my fiancé." Viktor said hurt.

"I am not your fiancé. Why don't you just get it?"

"But I proposed to you."

"And I rejected the proposal."

"Wait so that means nothing is going on between you both?" Narcissa asked me smiling.

"Nope! nothing!" I said looking at her.

"If there is nothing going on between you both it means he is single." Narcissa said happily.

"Mother – "

"Hush boy, what did I teach you about not talking when two people were talking?"

Draco shut his mouth.

"So what do you say single Handsome would you like to see our manor with me?" Narcissa asked Viktor flirtingly that almost made me want to barf all the delicious food I just had.

"No! I love Herminnie. She is my soul mate. Why would you not come with me?" Viktor said crying. And leaving the room probably to apparate away.

"So you not only steal my son but also the love of my life away from me?"

"The love of your life?" I asked incredulously.

"Mother you just met him!"

"Did you just answer me back?" she asked Draco angrily.

"What no mother! I am sorry."

"This is final. I will not tell you how to do anything anymore. You are on your own" And she stomped out of the room.

"Then who will I listen too?" he shouted behind her retreating figure. Then he turned to me.

"Will you tell me what to do from now on?" he asked looking at me with hopeful eyes.

So much for "a knight in shining armor", it's more like "a stupid knight in distress".

**A/N: I know Draco is a bit sorry a lot OOC, but I couldn't help it. So what do you think. Let me know. I got this idea from a friend of mine whose boyfriend is such a mamma's boy that she is about to break up with him. Lol. :D . well it is a one-shot for now, but if you like this Draco then let me know I will continue. Please review.**

**Maddie**


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